Tag Archives: sad

We Said Goodbye


AsĀ  you probably already know, Papa passed away one week ago yesterday. It was an incredibly difficult, sad and emotional time for me and my family, and I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words, prayers and messages over the past weeks.

I’m glad that I was able to spend his last days with him, comforting him, praying for him and loving on him. Papa was the original man in my life – I’ve never met my father, so he was my main male role model growing up – and I will miss him terribly. However, I am very grateful for the fact that he is no longer hurting, sick or suffering – he’s been dealing with advanced kidney, lung and heart disease for a very long time now, and I know the fight exhausted him.

I was able to write something for his funeral that was read beautifully by my Aunt Darla. I’m so glad she was willing and able to do so – because there’s no way I was going to be able to do that! The funeral also had a great photo slideshow from my Aunt Kami, which elicited a lot of laughs – just the way he would have wanted it :)

Expectations > Reality


On Tuesday, Chad was eager to get out of the house (I’d worked from home for two days and he was off work) and suggested we go out for dinner. Being the loving wife that I am, I graciously agreed :)

He asked me what I was in the mood for, and I said “a cheeseburger.” (Where was Lindsay when I needed her?!) We decided to try out Big Orange, a new burger place that opened in the Promenade. (Yes, I realize “new” is likely no longer accurate – but we hadn’t had the time/hunger pains to go there yet.)

The burgers being delivered to the tables around us all looked delicious, and I was excited to try my BBQ burger (with onion straws). Too bad it was NOT good. The BBQ sauce was gross, the meat was flavorless and it was just all around NOT enjoyable. Which really made me sad – I’d heard such great things about this place! Our fries were even lukewarm (you could tell they’d been sitting out for a while) – and you had to pay extra for fries, which should be a crime! The only saving grace of this trip was the dulce de leche milkshake that we split at the end – since I hadn’t eaten much of my burger, it totally hit the spot.

I don’t think I’ll be visiting this place again – I know there are WAY better burgers out there!!

Book Review: Two Kisses for Maddy


First of all, if you are pregnant, DO NOT READ THIS BOOK!!! Seriously.

Two Kisses for Maddy is one of the most honest, heart wrenching books I have ever read. It’s a true story, told from the perspective of a father whose wife passed away 27 hours after giving birth to their first child. I laughed so hard I cried, and I sobbed alongside the father as he recounted losing his wife before she even got to hold her baby girl.

The book starts out as the love story of Matt and Liz. They met the summer before they both went off to college (he in Minnesota and she in Los Angeles), but decided to give the long distance thing a try. After 4 years of cross-country flights and phone conversations, she accepted a business consulting job in LA while he went to Grad School in Chicago (the LDR continued). After his graduation (and 6 years of LD dating), Matt moved to LA to be with Liz. She stayed in her cushy job (she was a raging over achiever and was quickly climbing the corporate ladder) and he took a job with Yahoo. Both jobs required extensive travel (he was in India for 6 months, she was in Connecticut Monday-Friday), so they STILL weren’t together much (sound familiar??).

During all of this, they are world travelers (my dream!). They got married, honeymooned in Greece, and visited half a dozen countries that I can think of off the top of my head – probably more. And then they bought a house. And they Liz got pregnant. They really were living the dream.

After a few months, Liz’s pregnancy issues caused her to go on bedrest for the duration of her pregnancy. When the baby’s heart rate went dangerously low, the doctors made the decision to perform a C-section, 7 weeks early. Maddy was born a beautiful, healthy girl, but had to spend 24 hours in the NICU for observation. Mom was wheeled into recovery where she slept and rested until it was time to visit Maddy.

Finally, the 24 hours passed (and then 3 more, since mom was still sleeping). Because she’d been on bedrest for months, the nurses made Liz walk three laps around the hospital room before she could be taken to the NICU. She did it and then made her way to the wheelchair – but 1 foot before she got there, she hit the ground, unresponsive. We later learn that a blood clot in Liz’s leg, likely caused from having not stood for months, traveled to her lungs and led to her sudden and unexpected death.

Matt’s account of those moments is so vivid, you feel as if you are there, experiencing it alongside him. His agony and anguish are palpable, as are his fear and anger. He’s now left to be a single father to his newborn daughter (and he describes himself as a hipster – unmotivated, dirty and utterly irresponsible). Maddy was her mother’s biggest dream, and this was Matt’s biggest nightmare.

The book then goes on to show what Matt’s life looked like during his first year with Maddy. Liz’s funerals, trips to see family members, the inability to get out of bed (if it weren’t for Maddy), international trips, holidays and anniversaries (wedding, birth, death) – each are painful, yet make Matt a little bit stronger.

I mean it when I say this was an absolutely AMAZING read. I’m so glad I’m not pregnant, because it would have given me a serious complex about birthing my child. I would definitely recommend this book to any non-pregnant woman out there.